So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
