Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
