Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
