i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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