Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
MIDGETS
????
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
