I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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