i may or may not be watching the land before time
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
