Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
