Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
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YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
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It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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