I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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