Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
