do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I wear drunk well.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
