Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
