when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
