I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize