i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she told me i tasted like america
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's shark week go big or go home
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
