Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
