I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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