Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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