i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
