I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
