Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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