They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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