Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
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