some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
