I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
