Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
