haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
