put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
