Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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