I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
