I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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