do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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