i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
