Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
