She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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