i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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