If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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