BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He's a Shit stain on my heart
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
