and she was petting her beer can
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
