I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You don't make any sense
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