I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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