this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
