I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
