Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
