...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
