O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
