dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
