Your tits are I can't wait for
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
