I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
