so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
