oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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