Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
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Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
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well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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