therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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