No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
