I'm eating all of the evidence.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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