this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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